Bittersweet Symphony

(A cloudy evening on my terrace)

Today is my last day in Agra! It’s funny how this day is nothing like I thought it would be. I’m not galloping from this room to that room, being an absolute delight and making sure mom and dad are going to miss me; I’m not looking at my photo albums and feeling nostalgic; not writing long farewell e-mails to my friends. Well, in my defence, it’s too damn hot to do anything anyway.

I cannot believe my term here is over. I won’t sleep in my house, won’t laugh at mom’s jokes and her crazy dance moves, won’t listen to baba’s advices and won’t go to college on my scooty. I won’t ask dad to drop me to college, and I won’t sleep amidst the comfortable mess of my little room, won’t get to spend an evening gazing up at the sky on my terrace, won’t find familiar smiling faces on the streets and won’t flop down on top of mom and whine about my terrible day. This past month has been really different. And kind of terrifying. I was so aware of everything that has been happening all the time. Reminds me of Ross when he says “It’s what the Japanese call Unagi!” The state of total awareness. Even the most mundane everyday things seemed so good because I knew I was not going to experience them after a few days. Lying on the couch, having lunch with grandparents, walking in my colony, going to a friend’s house who lives one block away, eating a big, red, juicy, chilled watermelon with mummy papa. I never really paid attention to all these things earlier, and now when I’m going away, I know I’m going to miss it all. I’ve really tried to soak everything in. I have been overly affectionate and PDA-ish with mom and she has been asking me if I’m okay. I’ve spent time with everyone, and I’ve realized how much I love mom dad. Conversations with them are sometimes so fulfilling. I love them not just as my parents, but as my friends and as individual people. I feel like the universe provided me with such nice roommates to live with for so many years :D I also spent time with myself at all my favourite places, especially my terrace, when the weather was good.

And so, here I am, in the middle of my packing, listening to this song, writing a blog post, just to bring a sort of finality to the whole thing. Looking at all my stuff packed into these bags I feel happy, I feel sad, I feel excited, I feel apprehensive. My mind is prepared now, it’s time to leave! Mom is getting annoyed with me and I’m loving it :D I won’t get to hear her yelling at me again. Okay no, that, I will. So, the moment has arrived. But I think it will hit me when I finally sit in the car and look at my house one last time. The house I’ve lived twenty one years of my life in. The house I played in, cried, laughed, studied in. The house I wore frilly frocks and celebrated my birthday parties in. The house I played "Ice Spice" and "Independence day" in. The house where I spent all my summer afternoons drinking Rasna and playing "Coast Piece" and "Business King" in. The house I grew up in. Sigh. 24 Adan Bagh, you will be sorely, sorely missed! :')