Some days back, I was depressed and had no idea why. Actually, I did, sort of. I knew the stupid little reasons which had dampened my spirit but I couldn’t fathom why they would make me feel so pathetic. I felt wretched and I was depressed. I wouldn’t say it was a ‘I-just-wanna-die’ depression, but more of a ‘go-away-and-let-me-stay-under-my-covers’ one.
Maybe subconsciously, I knew what was bothering me but I couldn’t really pin point it out. Or possibly I just didn’t want to accept it. Whatever the case was, for days I just stayed at home, missed college for a couple of days, wept like a crybaby and mostly just slept. Every little problem that I was facing seemed to magnify and I felt as if nothing is right anymore. It’s like sometimes things just happen one after the other and you feel as if you just going to explode if one more thing goes wrong. That’s why I just went into this morbid state and locked myself up and tried to sleep it off.
Personally, I don’t think there’s anything wrong in crying and letting your emotions out, but it was getting too much and it was getting on to my nerves. So, I made conscious efforts to make myself feel better.
I called up a friend and went out with her, I talked to my mom, I watched a movie, I went out for a walk listening to my favorite songs. And slowly, I started feeling better and soon enough; I was back to my usual self. And I realized how brainless I was, being all morose and brooding over nothing. I also came to the conclusion that every problem in the world had a solution, we just need to think it over. And even if there isn’t a solution, there is no reason to fret and worry and cry over it, we just have to learn how to accept and be happy!
Because I was feeling so positive about life, I decided to do something. I’ve written 20 reasons why I love my life! I don’t know when I will start wallowing in my own little ‘tragedies’ again, so maybe reading his would make me feel better! Sooo, here goes:
- I love the way when my mom is scolding me for something (mostly for not cleaning my room or not getting up on time), I grab her and hug her and she hugs me back and lovingly gives me a whack on the head! I love it when she makes me roll on the floor laughing when she starts doing those funny things she sometimes does!
- I lovvvve it when it rains and I go out and get absolutely soaked to the skin and then later dry myself up and demand for pakoras and tea!
- I love the way I go nuts talking nonsense and laughing my ass off whenever I’m with my sister. And they way I feel when she hugs me every time before she leaves.
- I LOVE it when I’m snuggled up in my covers during those long winter nights listening to my favorite songs and getting lost in my own dreams and fantasies.
- I love it when I stay up all night reading an enthralling book and don’t even mind feeling groggy the next day in class because it was worth every minute!
- I love the way my dad shakes his head and sings along (and mom rolls her eyes) when a song of his choice starts to play on the radio in the car on one of out family outings!
- I love to know that whenever I’m feeling moody or low, someone is always there to put a smile on my face.
- I lourrrve the feeling I get when I have a long, satisfying, meaningful conversation with a close friend.
- I love the fact that when I’m with my best friend, we’re so comfortable, even silence doesn’t seem awkward.
- I love it when I go completely crazy laughing uncontrollably with my friends and when every stupid thing seems hilarious!
- I love the fact that I can watch movies back to back into the weeee hours of the night and then help myself to a midnight snack!
- I love the feeling I get when I associate a particular song to a particular person\memory\time\place.
- I love the way I call my friends up during those never-ending stressful exam days for ‘saantvana’ and then end up making plans about what we’d do during vacations!
- I love doing NOTHING. It’s one of my favorite things to do. Just sitting still, staring off into space.. or just thinking, about nothing in particular.
- I love the way we make last-second plans to bunk classed and go out to grab a bite. Also, passing notes in class and pouncing on each other’s tiffins after the very first lecture!
- I love the way it feels when I just sit alone on my terrace, or when I go for a walk on a breezy evening, reminiscing and smiling to myself.
- I love it when my granddad tells me some historical story (although 90% of the time he would’ve already narrated it to me before) when we all have lunch together.
- I love it when all of us sit in the bedroom inside out quilts when it’s cold and TALK; or maybe watch TV and munch on peanuts and dry fruits.
- I love talking to my bro about our childhood (which was the BEST phase of my life.. ever) and reliving all the games we used to play (Barbie-Spiderman-He-Man!) and how we used to fight over toys!
- Finally, I love my life because I love myself! Despite all my imperfections, I’m a perfectly lovable creature and people lourve me! :P
I have numerous other reasons I can mention here, but I guess this entry is long enough already. Also, because I’m going to turn twenty next month (sigh, that’s right), I think it is fitting if I restrict this list to 20 reasons.
It’s an exhilarating feeling to feel happy and grateful about life!
You should try it too!