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Monday, July 18, 2011

Heart of the Sunrise



One day when I’ll be all old, stiff and wrinkly, sitting by myself in my vegetable garden looking at the birds and thinking about the good ol’ days, I’m sorely going to miss this phase of my life. It’s 3 AM at night, ‘Heart of the Sunrise’ is playing in the background and the weather is rainy and beautiful in a sad sort of way. I have had yet another heartfelt conversation with my best friend, after countless of them since 19th May 2010.

It is so amazing to feel this way. The rush of hormones, the extreme sense of satisfaction, the feeling of being alive, the sudden urges to break into a little jig while walking down the road, the smile that spreads over your lips even in serious situations, recollecting memories and playing them over and over and over again in your head, laughing over sentences spoken into the phone, staring off into space, dreaming, listening to your favourite songs and relating with them, the peace and the exuberance, knowing you can never ever ever feel lonely again. The feeling is too powerful to be described.

I wasn’t aware I was capable of feeling like this. It’s like I do not regret any mistake that I made in life; because they all led me to this. I have grown so much as a person over the past one year. It’s hard to believe one person can make such a difference. It’s unbelievably amazing. I feel like I am high. And it’s the purest feeling in the world. Life is like a sunny beach, with the breeze blowing across your face and the waves lapping at your feet and there is a pleasant sense of happiness. It is exhilaratingly beyond belief.

At times like these you wonder if everything that happens in your life follows a predetermined plan. If everything that happens, does happen for a reason. Then you have very little to complain about. You’ve a cushion, a shoulder to lean on, a hand to hold, a goofy pal who’ll always make you feel better. You feel like you can go through anything; and that life has a purpose. And that all the shit that life throws at you, all the mean, rotten things you’ve to face since the time you’re born, all the pain and the tears and the anguish, they’re all worth it. Even a moment of experiencing this bliss, is worth it. Is worth it all :)