A few days back a friend visited the campus and he made me
look at my campus in awe all over again, through the eyes of an outsider. I
live in the kind of place where people pay thousands of rupees to go
vacationing to. I have been dabbling into a lot of new music and I’m addicted
to two new bands, Broken Bells and Imagine Dragons. They go really well with
the overall atmosphere of this place. A couple of days back Possum and I went up on our
terrace, in a desperate attempt to do something ‘spontaneous’ because we
suddenly realized how little time is left before our time here gets over. Third
semester flew by. Literally. 'Not like a an aeroplane, but like a rocket.' When I think about it, it seems like a flurry of
assignments, workshops and guest lectures. And funny one liners and insane laughter sessions at night.
And oh, sleeping like this every day.
It rained gloriously today. With frighteningly loud thunder
and purple lightning. It has been pouring since the past few days and it makes
me enter this euphoric stupor where I suddenly fall in love with everything
around me. It felt amazing to just sit back and observe the rain. The water
gushed underneath our feet, down the sloping road as we made our way back to the
hostel. We felt the spray of the water and we observed some juniors sailing some paper boats in the streams.
There was a stormy, torrential downpour at night again, and
as I walked back towards the hostel under my umbrella I knew I had to get
drenched. It was time. I ran back to the hostel, changed into my shorts and
asked my crazy neighbor who I knew would be crazy enough to join me in my
craziness and took her to the terrace. We stood there, giggling, scaring passersby
on the road below and just sharing the beauty of the moment. I don’t know what
it is about getting soaked to the bone. Maybe it’s the thrill, maybe it’s
defying what you’re supposed to do. Maybe it’s the pleasure of letting go
despite the risk of falling sick.
I went to Mumbai recently to shoot a documentary film we are working on. The reality shook me up a bit. The real world is not like my campus. It's not always rainbows and butterflies and sunsets and trees. It's sweat. It's hordes of people pushing you. It's homeless people. It's people who try to swindle you. It's hours of travelling that sucks all your energy out. It's dust. It's haggling with autowallas. It's not easy. And once I start working I will have to deal with this everyday of my life. I don't feel ready for this. And yet when I'm thrown out there, I feel like I'll live.
I cannot get over how much I have changed in the past one
year. Earlier I saw, but never really observed. I heard, but never really
listened. I felt, but never really thought. I feel like my senses have opened
so much more to everything that happens. I enjoy silence more than loud noises
now. I look for solitude instead of large crowds. I am...quieter. Well, relatively. I'm more cynical. I still romanticize mostly everything in life, but a lot of my unreasonable
expectations have taken a backseat. I’m still a big bag of emotions,
opening myself to those precious few, but deep underneath a lot of creases have
smoothed over time. I feel like I needed to clear my head a bit. There is a little
more clarity when it comes to setting my priorities straight. I still don’t
know what exactly I want from life, but I don’t let it bother me as much. I’ll
figure it out.
P.S. I bought a camera! Sharing my photostream here! Do give me feedback on the pictures :)
Click here.
Click here.
