Thursday, February 2, 2012

Dear Fifteen-year-old me..

Chee once shared an email with me which talked about a book that was published which contained letters written by celebrities to their sixteen year old selves. They were really funny and gave an insight into how they changed over the years. And now all sixteen year olds are careless and naïve and kind of crazy. Although I’m only(?) 21 right now, I want to write a letter to my fifteen year old self. So, here it goes:

Dear Fifteen-year-old me,

You know what? You’re STUPID. I wish I could go back in time and give you a nice, big whack on your head. Stop caring about how you look and what people think of you. Seriously, no one cares. And it doesn’t matter. Your best friends will hardly care. I know your hormones are surging, and you’re in an all-girls school, but need you behave like that when you see a bunch of cute guys around? Relax, girl. Don’t panic. It’ll pass. It’s temporary.

Please study for your boards. You know you have brains and you just have to apply them. I know that your board exam marks won’t matter in the future and no one is going to be remotely interested in them once you join college, but getting a 90+ will make you feel so much better about yourself. Do not get lost in the world of social networking. It will waste your time and you will read lesser and lesser until you don’t have the patience to finish any book. And that sucks.

Try to judge people better and have the discretion to know who is actually your friend and who only pretends to be. People will use you because you’re so naïve. Do NOT trust people too fast. Do not be lured into a world of ‘going out’ and ‘looking good’ and superficial relationships. Do not try to be cool. It’s overrated. And you’re not very good at it. It's okay to speak your mind and it's good to say no sometimes. Stop taking shit from people. And let go of some people before you realize they weren't worth it.

Know the guy you think you’re in love with? (Of course you do, you’re obsessed with him) Yea well, you don’t. You’re fifteen ! And he doesn’t too. No matter what he says. Realize it sooner or you’re going to cause yourself a lot of mind-numbing, excruciating, soul shattering, heartbreaking pain, remorse, regret and grief. Or you know what, don’t. That relationship is going to make you realize everything you were missing out on and it will make you more careful. It’s going to lead you to find true love when you least expected it.

Read newspapers. Spend more time with your family. Waste less time on the phone. DON’T think about what a certain someone said about you. It’s not true and don’t let it get to you. I know you’re skinny but one day it won’t matter that much. Trust me. I know you fret, worry and cry about little things but you do know how to have a good time. Don’t let that go. Don’t let the innocence fade away. It’s okay to let friendships break. It’s okay to let things go. Good things will come to you. You have an amazing life ahead of you. Make the most of it. And no matter how stupid you are right now, you’re a good girl. I’m going to like you.

Astha from the future :)


  1. Soul, thankfully, I'm not 15 anymore. I'm 21. I've mentioned that in the first few lines itself :P

  2. Loved this one! I can completely relate to it...n I'm sure every person can. You know what, as I was reading, vivid pictures of my past were forming in my head. Just that, instead of when I was 15, I saw more pictures of when I was 18 (when I was in 1st year Engineering). Probably I matured late, lol. Can now laugh about it.

    I turned 18 after my 12th CBSE boards n went to hostel. For me, that was the 'Real' coming of age experience...n there are certain people we both know who helped in making it more comfortable than it would have been otherwise :D In fact, it was enjoyable too! That 1st year was when I learned some of the bitter truths about life. That is when I realized things like not trusting people blindly, learning to differentiate the true friends from the pretentious ones...n the ones to keep n the ones to forget. I was too straight forward until then n conveniently saw the world through the cosmetically enhanced reality n tinted lens that the superficial world presented itself in. I never thought too much about the many things that dint meet the eye. I'll term that year as bittersweet, but at the same time, extremely that was the year I made some friends I'd go out of my way to keep always. I very much experienced the emotional changes n strains that come when you transit towards the cusp of adulthood.

    Sorry for such a long comment...but you literally threw me into a nostalgic trail. Had to describe what came into my head while reading. Double thumbs up :D !!

  3. Manu zee, thank zus! Even I think most people can relate to it because they're all, well, like ^THAT. Aww, you must have been so tiny in the first year! I've seen Chee's first year pics. He was a thin, dorky KID! Even I want to go outside and experience my 'real' coming of age :P College is still the most memorable time man. Should make the most of it while it lasts! Don't say sorry for writing long comments! Write longer ones! :D

    Anonymous, and thank you for that :P

  4. Aww! :) First up, a big virtual bear-hug for writing this adorable letter. And second, I think it's a brilliant idea. My dad says the rearview mirror is always a lot clearer than the windscreen which is just his car-freak way of saying things look very different on retrospection. I guess if there was one thing I could tell my fifteen year old self it would be to appreciate school more and not yearn for college. It's not anything like what they make it out to be in the movies.

  5. Karishma, thaaank you! :D *hugs back*
    I loved your dad's analogy. It's brilliant and makes total sense! Even I used to yearn for college but well, now I miss school :\
    Why don't you write a letter to your 15-year-old self to? There! I'm tagging you! :D

  6. Yayyy! That's one tag I would absolutely LOVE to do! :) I'm gonna think about it tonight and put it up tomorrow! :)

  7. Yaayyy! Can't wait to read it! :D

  8. I wish we could receive such letters written by our older-selves :) :) wishful thinking has no bounds :)

  9. Thank you Purvi :) I'm glad you stopped by! :D

  10. "I’m going to like you." :-)

    You sound so mature. I loved the post, and your little drawing.

  11. Okay I don't like thirteen comments. So :P

  12. Back 'from' the future?? :P

    Nice one. Liked it. :)

  13. you havent changed much have you (astha of the future)?? ;-))

  14. Thanks, um, Phatichar :P

    Doo, cut me some clack. It's only been 6 years! :P

  15. Ah, don't be so hard on your 15-yr old self, Astha. After all her mistakes, blunders and pain played an important role in bringing you here. Without them, you wouldn't have become what you are today. Trust me, it is best not to change any of it! :)

  16. Sinduja, you're right :) I agree with you completely. But this post is just to kind of prove to myself how much I've grown and changed over the years. And I still wish I'd done a few things differently. Nevertheless, all's good. Thank you for the comment :)

  17. Aaarghhh I still havent gotten around to writing my letter. I've gone on this nostalgic trip through all the unpublished drafts on my blog recently. But I am going to do it this week. :) I read through this again and I really really like it! Just thought I'd pop in and say. :D

  18. Eeeeeeeeeeh! :D Thank you! :D
    Please do it. I'm looking forward to it! :)

  19. Weeeeeee! I'm going over to your blog to read it! :D

  20. "Don’t let that go. Don’t let the innocence fade away. It’s okay to let friendships break. It’s okay to let things go. Good things will come to you."----best lines..
    That was something that would make everyone think, "How I wish I had written that post!!"
    I guess if i ever did find such a letter at 15 I would've tossed it away, not believing it to be real.... Perhaps you just need to learn somethings on ur own.
    Loved the post :D

  21. Thank you Tangerine! :)
    Yes, even I would've probably thrown it away because when you're fifteen you're so sure of your convictions and plans. Little do you realize how much your outlook is going to change.
    It changes all your life. I'd probably write a letter to my 21 year ols self when I'm 26 :P

  22. Ooh that entire bit about the board exams. I wish "me from the future" had written something like that for "me a year back". I wouldn't be so mindfucked about not knowing a single thing, even 9 days before those goddamned board exams.
    Anyhoo, I like your scene.
    Following you up :)

  23. Ruhani, Yay! New follower! :D It's completely okay to not know anything before the board exams. People just make a big deal out of it. In the end, all that matters is that you get a decent score. I'm sure you did. And even if you didn't, relax. It's not going to matter in a couple of years! :)

  24. Omg!! this is amazing! writing a letter to 15 yr old self is the best-est thing I've ever seen. following you for sure. and i think maybe i'll try to write myself one as well :)

  25. Dark Angel, thank you! :D I know, it's so cool right? :) It gets you thinking, doesn't it? I think you should totally give it a shot. I'm tagging you to do it! It'll be fun! :)

    And is your blog name inspired by the TV show by James Cameron starring Jessica Alba? :)

  26. I love this entire concept of writing to your old must be so emotional but fun at the same time na? I must try it soon! Anyhow, yours was quite interesting to read! Relatable (Is that a word? o.O)too :)
    And, you love Sheldon and Ross?! Hi5 woman! =D

  27. Priyanka, I know! I fell in love with it when I read it too! Some of them were really insightful. You should try it too! :) I'd like to read yours! Of course relatable is a word :D And I know what you mean!
    Yes, Sheldon and Ross are the funniest people on TV :D They never fail to cheer me up!
    Thanks for commenting! Cheers! :D

  28. Haha! Sheldon and Ross! :D
    That is pretty cool, I must say! :D

    I'll be writing a letter to myself probably, then post it on my blog and have my mother raging about things she never knew about me.(I'm just 15. :P)
    Following you! :)

  29. Joyee, thank you. Sheldon and Ross are the best things to happen to TV!
    You're 15? Awww, that seems so tiny now! :P And it seems so long ago, though it's barely been 6 years! You should write a letter yourself! I'll read it for sure! Following you back! :)

  30. it is exactly the same i used to think when i was fifteen but now i have lost such thoughts due to my busy college life.I am going to lose my teenage and right now I feel so old, I wish I were fifteen.This blog reveals the secret confessions of a 15 year old.Keep it up

    Reminds me of Taylor Swift's song Fifteen

  31. Hey Astha, that's a very thoughful writing!
    I would like to copy this idea of ur's and write a letter to me 5 yrs back (with due permission frm u) :P
    Hav read this captivating post time n again on ur blog.
    But the thought of writing this letter to my younger self just crossed my mind..May be because m goin to begin a new phase of my life :)
    Wonderful post. Keep writing :)

  32. I wrote a letter to the sixteen year old me too, a while ago. However, I liked your better. I liked the humor too.

    Following you,

    Have a peek into my blog once you get a chance.



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