(A self-picture I clicked on a lazy Sunday afternoon)
Okay, so there’s the thing. I hate to admit it, but I’m a wimp. Erm, quite a big one at that, I recently realized. I haven’t always been like that. I guess back in the day I was one of those annoying little high-pitched girls who whine and tantrumize* their way into getting what ever they want. But I’d become quite sensible and sane when I grew up. Just when I developed such a high level of EQ I fail to understand. Maybe it was during those idiotic, early-teen years, when you’re stupid and wistful and “I-think-I’m-totally-in-love” types. Hmm.
Anyway, whatever it was, it really loosened up my tear glands quite a bit and since the past two days they’ve been on a roll. Yeah yeah, it was just ‘one of those days’ and I got over it. But it’s not only days like these. I cry at the lamest of things. Make me watch an emotional, mushy movie and I’d be sniffing my way towards the end, all red-nosed. Make some friends throw a surprise party for me and I’d jump on all of them, delirious and teary-eyed. Make me read a warm, soulful book and I’d be wiping my tears on my sleeves. That’s just how I am.
I agree I did change massively over the years. But a few things don’t change. For instance, I’m still extremely loopy when it comes to love. I go ‘Awwwwwwwww’ when I look at other couples or when I read about two madly in love people getting married. In fact, I once cried (almost sobbed) at a friend’s cousin’s wedding. I mean, what the hell? (And that attracted a lot of name-calling and fun-making which I had to endure for the next two days) I feel an old couple sitting close on a park bench is the cutest thing in the world. And I feel that sometimes you just find someone who you just click with and the rest becomes history. The whole Dil to Pagal Hai ‘Someone, somewhere is made for you’ theory is true. I believe when someone is born, there is another person who also enters the world, and destiny makes them meet somehow. I love love. And I love the feeling of being in it. I love it when it makes me feel warm and gooey and happy inside.
I love daydreaming and long phone conversations, and stifled laughter and wacky jokes. I love bizarre confessions and early morning SMSes and wake up calls. I love random e-mails and dream discussions. I love ugly-face competitions and hand-holding and midnight whispers and spurts. I love serious Gmail chats and undecipherable Facebook wall posts and colon-phies and little hearts. I love the fluttering butterflies and the little smiling at inappropriate situations.
Whoa, I didn’t see this post going in this direction :P
But oh well, anyway. So yeah, I admit it. I’m twenty and I’m sensible and smart too, to an extent, ahem, but I’m a loony, unrealistic, starry-eyed day dreamer and a sucker for romantic movies and books that make me weep.
Uh oh, I guess I still am stupid and wistful and “I-think-I’m-totally-in-love” types. Hmm.
[*a new word I invented, amongst others. I believe my words will be a rage when I become big and famous and rich and will go and shop in Paris. Geee :D]