Acceptance

There are five stages that people go through when they come to know they're going to die. They’re called the five stages of grief. The first one is Denial (this cannot be happening to me!) The second one is Anger (why is this happening to me?) The third is Bargaining (I promise to be a better person if) Next comes Depression (I don’t care anymore) And finally, Acceptance (I’m ready for whatever comes)

Interestingly, thanks to Dr. House, I came to know that even the people who lose their loved ones go through these stages. And since I came to know Shirley is going to go, I’ve experienced myself going through all these emotions. When I wrote my previous post, I was probably in the Anger stage.

But it’s not that bad. I’ve finally realized that she’ll be happy in her new home, maybe happier. Although her absence is eating me, I can take solace from the fact that I will get to meet her every once in a while. I keep looking at her chewed up toys, her favourite spot, her rug, her eating bowls. I keep wondering what she must be doing, whether she’d be thinking of me as well. I sometimes forget she’s gone and expect her to come trotting out from some corner of the house, tongue out and ears bouncing. The feeling that follows is terribly painful.

But I guess I’m finally in the Acceptance stage. My mom and dad talked to me for a couple of hours and I was so relieved to know they’re grieved as well. I just wish she’d adjust to her new home and new life and grow up to be a chubby, happy dog :)

On the brighter side of life, my room is now mauve and a bit of purple. It looks.. well, girly. Which is good actually; and I needed a change. I’m going to spend the entire day tomorrow setting it up, getting rid of all the unused clutter. Apart from the literal cleaning up of my wardrobe and bookshelf, I really need to clean out the skeletons from my closet. It is high time I take them all out, instead of pushing them far and far in deeper.

The day started off in the worst way possible, but I’d like to end it on a positive note. I’m looking forward to a few specific events that are going to take place in the foreseeable future. I watched Death at a Funeral yesterday, and I’m still giggling thinking about some of the scenes.

Listening to Simon and Garfunkel now is already making me feel so much better. It kind of like, soothes your nerves you know. I’m terribly missing a certain someone and I really hope that person calls me back soon. I'm exhausted and I guess I will hit the sack early tonight, after a long time. Tomorrow is going to be a better day :)