Friday, August 5, 2011

Jabberwocky


It’s 4 AM and it’s raining! I don’t know why people say it’s ‘bad weather’ when it rains; I absolutely adore it. The morning air is chilly and refreshing. How am I awake at this hour? Do you even need to ask? I couldn’t sleep. To be fair, I did fall asleep for like an hour, which did not feel like sleep at all because I had crazy dreams about my sis getting a liposuction and me falling into a drain. I watched an episode of Scrubs and listened to Coldplay and Evanescence and sang along quietly in the darkened room. Yep, that’s me.

I particularly like this part of the song 'Imaginary' by Evanescence.

"I linger in the doorway, of alarm clocks screaming, monsters screaming my name.
Let me stay, where the wind will whisper to me,
Where the raindrops as they're falling, tell a story."


I love Amy Lee's sweet, angelic voice against all that heavy rock music.

There is frightening but awesomely cool thunder and lighting. It is so lovely! I can see the street light outside and the plump drops falling against it. There are fireflies hovering over it. Although how they are flying in all that rain, I fail to understand. I guess it’s one of those little mysteries in life which you don’t understand. Like how when you reach your class on time, the teacher arrives late. Or how you never have balance when you have to make a very important phone call. Or how when you desperately want something, you won't find it. Or why Shirley is deathly afraid of my sister's guitar. (She even peed a little when I was strumming it :P) Or why you never realize how idiotic you actually look until you watch yourself in a video. (I recently realized that when I clap I look like a sea lion flapping its fins. Only, the sea lion doesn't look mental. I'm still trying to get over the shock and trauma)

I just said bye to my sister. She’s off to Bangalore. New job. New life. A fresh new start. Which makes me want to do something about my own life. I need change, and I’ve to bring that change myself. I feel very gloomy about it all for some reason; instead of being enthusiastic. I wonder why. My best friend shared an article with me which said that many times you never know why exactly you feel what you feel, and so you pin point it to something. Like if you’re grumpy, you’ll feel maybe it’s because of lack of sleep, or because you had a spat with a friend, or maybe because of your medicine. But the actual reason can be far from that. There was an entire theory about it. It was ridiculously interesting! Sometimes I wish I was better off with English and Psychology as my majors. But I’ve decided not to have any kind of regrets from life. It’s okay. Even if I made mistakes, I learnt from them.

Oh hell, I’m just rambling, aren’t I? I guess this is just one of the I-just-feel-like-writing-because-the-weather-is-good-so-sue-me posts!

And now fireflies have begun to enter my room through some creak probably. And they won’t let my already sleep deprived, half dead brain sleep because I’ll imagine them mutilating my body when I’m dead to the world and into my bizarre dreamland again. Damn, I guess that is one teensy reason why it’s called bad weather.

Anyway, one last thing. I had a revelation last night. It is possible to fall in love with a person again. Over and over and over again. Even when you feel there is absolutely no way you can love someone more, lo and behold, you fall in deeper. Another mystery, eh? :) 

Well, such mysteries I like! Weeeeee! :D

7 comments:

  1. You are so lucky that you can express your feelings through your blog posts....I envy you!!

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  2. This is one of the best of your blog entries I have read (n the one about the '70s..the others are also great, but my personal ranking :D). Yeah, I pretty much figured out that the pouring rain n the clock striking 3am gets the nocturnal n romantic person deep within out of you!

    N yes, reading this, rather than the song you mentioned, I was reminded of 'Dreamer' by Ozzy Osbourne. You've heard the song I hope.

    Manu

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  3. Grampa, and the slithy toves :)

    Manu, really?! That's what your friend also said :P
    And yes, the rains do make me all melancholic and poetic and philosophical and what not. I thiiiiiink I might have heard the song, not too sure! Thanks for the comment! :)

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  4. I mean it. Else I wouldn't say so :D
    N you are most welcome!

    Manu

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