Lately I’ve been kind of an eccentric recluse. Haven’t been talking to anyone much and haven’t been in the highest spirits as well. I have this feeling like I don’t connect with people anymore. Either I’m too crazy for them to get me; or, er, no, that’s it. I’m too crazy for them to get me.
I feel like they’re not going to understand the mad, bizarre, peculiar thoughts my whacky brain is capable of thinking about. And like, they’re going to lose their weird nature if they’re shared. Sometimes I just get mad looking at how happy they are, mostly. And then I think, why is it so hard for me to be happy?
The answer came to me today. You have to make efforts to be happy and even more efforts to remain happy. In normal circumstances, humans have a natural tendency to revert back into a depressed state. Much like, how water turns to room temperature. It’s so easy to be sad; but it’s difficult to laugh at your problems.
I had planned to spend Diwali in my room reading a book because I don’t like the smoke and the.. OK FINE! I’M SCARED of the bombs! They make me jump like little parakeets on a trampoline! What’s with all the noise man?! But my little cousins dragged me outside and voila! Everything was beautiful! Lit up, bright, happy, vibrant! And there was a nice gathering of my family and other relatives.
See, I’m no big fan of some people in my family, but on occasions like these, you tend to forget all your differences and problems and just get together and have fun. We burst crackers, ran about, jumped over charkhis and cheered at the anaars. Later I went to the terrace to witness the majestic view of the sky emblazoned with a never-ending cornucopia of colourful firecrackers. And now my folks are playing teen patti!
At these family gatherings, amidst the teasing and the laughter; amidst the food and the photo sessions; amidst the generation gaps and the carefree banter; I sometimes look around me and get this warm feeling in my belly. Boy, am I glad to have these people in my life. They’re family. I’ll always have these people around; who will not let me feel lonely at events like these.
From frolicking around with the kids and feeling like a silly little girl, to having discussions with the elders, made me feel like I’m in such a perfect stage of my life. I don’t remember the last time I had so much fun on a festive occasion. It has been a good, good, good Diwali!