Sunday, November 20, 2011

In your Face, book!

I love the chill of winters. I love how cold and pink my toes are and I’ve to wear colourful socks to keep them warm. I love how I’m all cuddled up in my quilt and the warm laptop feels good on my belly. I love the steam in the bathroom after hot water baths. I love my extraordinarily long fingers wrapped around a mug of hot coffee.

Ahh, winters are here :) My friends tell me it was foggy in the morning. I, of course, missed it. There’s something about it. It’s strange and mysterious and it adds this moody splendour to everything around you, don’t you think?

I just finished a tedious, tiring, eye-drooping assignment and I’m feeling good because I did not leave it until morning. Ideally, I should hit the sack because I have another pending task which I plan to do in the morning, but um, I won’t just be me if I sleep before 3, now would I? :|

I suddenly want days to become twice as long. 24 hours is just not enough. I want to read more, write more, see more, talk more and do more of constructive work, while at the same time having all the time to do all the nothing I want. 

I hate Facebook. I hate that useless, brain-damaging, pest of a site. People are just swarming all over it, all the time. They’re everywhere. What’s with all these new features man? For instance, take that creepy, crawly Tickr, which runs across the side of your screen screaming the tiniest detail of what everyone is up to. WHO needs to see that a friend of yours (whom you actually almost dislike and he's only in your friends list because he unfortunately happens to be your classmate) has commented "you looks to pretti" on another classmate-hence-FB-friend's picture where she's standing sloppily in front of a shopping mall?! WHY do you need to know some long forgotten junior you had in school took up a “Will Edward dump your for Bella and drink your blood and you will have tiny blood-sucking kids” quiz?

And I hate this trend of putting a god-awful godforsaken god-only-knows-why picture of puppies/teddy bears/hearts and then tagging all your gazillion friends like a mindless drone. Next thing you know, you have '47 notifications’ of all sorts of weird people commenting over the picture.
“awweee! Choo chweeeeet! Thaaankk yyeewww!! : * :*”
hearts hearts! kisses kisses! muah muah! 

Please! :|

'Liking' something has completely lost all meaning.

"Ahh, just had a bath"

"I'm an arrogant bitch"

"I fell in the gutter and broke both my legs"

Even the 'I hate Facebook' community on Facebook has a 17,381 likes! I mean, DUDE?!

And the kind of pictures people have started putting up! MY GOD! Artificial smiles plastered on shiny faces standing in front of a mirror showing off not only their clothes, but also their cell phone, their watch, their LED TV, and their Macbook. (Okay, you might not be that lame if you have a Macbook, but you get the point)

Everybody wants to show how much fun they are having; while secretly they’re all caught up in the web of their miserable lives. Oh come on, aren’t we all? Secretly, we’re all spying on to other people’s profiles comparing our lives to theirs, how many comments they get, how popular they are, where they went for their vacation, who they are going out with. Nothing is private anymore. Off on a trip, BAM! Your pictures are seen by your entire family, plus people you probably don’t even know. A baby is born, BAM! He is already on Facebbok, being koochi-kooed and getting his virtual cheeks pinched. Change your relationship status from ‘Committed’ to ‘Single’ and you get hoards of unwelcome, probing, sympathetic comments:

"aww what happened?!!” 
“oh dyyyuuuude, never mind. Plenty of fish in the sea.”

Someone you barely know shares something with you that would have made NO difference to you or your existence if it wasn't shared. Someone you don't even remember meeting did something that you don't even remotely care about. Nor does anyone else, actually. Some weird loony you met at a party pops a "Hye" every time he sees you green. Unknown people poking you. Obnoxious-people-you hate-but-sorta-have-to-be-nice-to throwing virtual pigs and ducks and porcupines at you. All sorts of whackos from Loserville asking you to become an online farmer or an architect. (REALLY?!) Click Click Click. Post Post Post. Like Like Like. Meaningless clutter. Jabber Jabber.

People copy and paste the same links, the same quotes, the same lines they saw on someone else’s profile and think they’re cool. It is all so fake it is depressing. I mean, what happened to the real world guys? Why do we need to share our every waking thought with the world?

What is personal anymore when Facebook gives you the option of writing ‘What’s on your mind’ to hundreds of people all at the same time? Your entire life, your image, your social circle is practically exposed on an online profile which you can demolish at one click? I sometimes long for simpler times. What happened to sitting by the fireplace, all alone, reading a hardback book? I remember I used to read MUCH more before I got lured into this world of 'social networking'. Ugh. 

I know it is highly hypocritical of me to say this because I spend a lot of time on Facebook, probably for different purposes. (I think) See, I like Facebook for a number of reasons, (hell, I love Facebook for a MAJOR reason) but I do not want to become, what is said to be known as a 'A Facebook addict'. No way, Jose. And now it has begun to irritate me. One day, I might just deactivate my account on a whim. Who knows? Let's just hope I don't have to reach to that stage.


  1. I was expecting something like this sooner or later, and I think that you're pretty good at expressing yourself, getting it all out, using the right words which mean exactly what you're trying to put across. Surprized that you didn't choose to write about the 'other' folder in your inbox. :P

    There are some points which I strongly disagree about but nevertheless, it is definitely worth a read and worth a 'share' too (:P), and I hope it affects everybody in some way or the other. :)

  2. back after a long hiatus! we've met just will think twice before liking a pic of yours, lol...n wont comment even i find you pretty in a pic, hehe.

    but get your fact, i too think the same about stupid things like 'had a bath', or 'ate some delicious xxxxxxx (prepared by mom)', random n unnecessary pics. for god's sake, we all have bath, love mom's food, look forward to catching up with friends,

  3. the only but crucial reason i use fb is coz there are loads of people you want to stay in touch with, but not easy to do so with everyone. fb enables you to stay closer to 'those' people. n updates about your recent trips n related pics (not random pics) is to keep some buddies (not people you barely know or care about) updated on things that are happening at your end.

    for me, this is the sole reason i use fb...n i personally don't waste time on the rubbish updates you listed :D its of no use to anyone.

    from personal experience, one major use of posting about an upcoming trip is, some friends who'd be in the place, would contact you, n so you get to catch them while on the trip. i have met quite a few close friends thanks to such updates, n also managed to meet many who show indications of being in mumbai.

    just ignore the random people, use it to your advantage n stay close to people who matter to you. that is fb for me.

  4. you create magic with reading your posts .....full of expressions and lovely details!!!!

  5. Varun, thanks a tonne dude! :D
    I did not write about the 'Other' folder because that stuff actually brightens me up. You know, provides a sort of comic relief :P
    And as I mentioned, I do like Facebook; and everything written here is in a dark humorous way. Just for funzies :)

    Manu, comment after so long! Yay! :D
    I agree with everything you say. Also, FB is fun because you can make fun of the profile and pictures of all the people you hate! That's always good! :P

    Priya di, thaaaank zoo! I love your comments! <3

  6. n sometimes make fun of your close friends too ;)

  7. Wow. For me, I hate Facebook not for what it is but what it does to people, transforming them into gods of virtual space. Only one thing there. Delete your account not on a whim, but when there is nothing left there to make you go back to it :)
    It's going to be one fulfilling deletion!

    Also, you should totally check this out:

  8. who is this qwerty. i think we should report this person :D

    @astha - sorry for spamming this space.

  9. Chee, you're right. And btw, you didn't mention the 'I' word here purposefully? :P

    The link was funny! Your grandkids are going to know how 'cool' you once were on Facebook :D

    Manu, Qwerty is the reason why I'm not studying. Aaargghh!

  10. was this post advertised all over facebook astha prak !!
    and you know that warm laptop on ur belly will someday give you stomach cancer!! but nevertheless u'll have ur blog to turn to then u know!! the same blog u once wrote about the warmth of that cancer causing piece of plastic ;p..
    just saying!!


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