|(SO classy. No?)|
Did you SEE the song ‘Chikni Chameli’ from Agneepath? :O
And sheesh! Can you believe the title? Chameli. Right. Very original.
If you’re a boy, and if you’re a Bollywood-item-numbers-liking, shameless type of guy who looks a girl top to bottom, then scram! (Wait a minute, what are you even doing on my blog?)
I randomly saw the entire song today on TV. And man! Wh.. How.. Wh.. HOW is she DOING that man?!
Her body movements seem impossible! It’s like she’s made of rubber and has no bones at all! It’s beyond human comprehension how she is jiggling and jumping and flouncing about like that. It is bizarre. It seems like we’re having a battle of item songs for attracting people to the theatres. And boy, do they all flock over there or what! They’re like a herd of sheep, going wherever the grass seems juicier. And the grass on Agneepath’s pasture is juicy as hell.
I hate the entire concept of an item song. The sole purpose of having them is to make girls diet and exercise themselves to death to get that perfect, not-an-extra-ounce-of-flesh on them type of body and then expose and flaunt it unthinkably. And then they’re made to wiggle and shake like a jelly (and they’re paid heaps of moolah for doing so) which in turn gives all the pervs in our country an open excuse to get all the skin show and eye candy that they only fantasize about. My fate also made me watch another Veena Malick number, in front of which Chikni Chameli looks harmlessly laughable. (She’s wearing a blouse which has two luminous circles on it. Get the picture?)
The reason why people go to watch a movie should not be some sleazy boisterous dance song, but the storyline, or the acting or the direction or even the music. But the entire idea of inserting these vulgar songs smack in the middle of a story is so screwed up. I don’t even feel like watching music channels anymore. And on top of that, they make these songs so catchy! It is so infuriating! And WHY, may I ask, are the moves getting more and more embarrassing? How is she thrusting her entire body in all four directions all at once and then making those wicked expressions? *cringe*
Yeah, I get it, you’re tall and perfect and beautiful, (and you make me feel pathetic about life) but need you shove your, ahem, bosom repeatedly into the camera to prove you’re sexy? I mean what were you thinking?! (Or maybe you weren’t, seeing as you were “pauuwa chadha ke aayi”) Go take some acting lessons, learn a bit of Hindi and do some good movies, no? Put that awesome face to some good use. You’d all do us a huge favour :)
Well anyway, the fact is that you cannot really ignore them. They are played on TV in shops and cafés, blared on speakers in the markets and radios, sung at inhuman volumes into the wee hours of the night in wedding baaraats, viewed endlessly on youtube and shared religiously on Facebook. Sigh, and now even my 16 month old niece lights up at the sound and sight of this song. It’s her new favourite and all you have to do to make her stop crying is play the song. And then see her hopping and giggling about. Chikni Chameli is the new Powerpuff Girl? :\
Oh well, at least the song is of some use.