Rise

It began with a hesitant message on Facebook,

A question about one of the most important steps I was going to take in my short but reasonably interesting life.

A reassuring reply later, began the extensive conversations about life, the universe and everything.

From absurd ideas about making movies (IJJAT), to exposing our ‘personalities’, to talking about sunsets.

From dreaming about rock concerts and trekking expeditions, to discussing Douglas Adams.

From little ideas to random khee-kheeing about,

You have been a constant guide, adviser and friend.

A friend I felt I had even before I joined SIMC.

And now two months later, I feel like I know you quite well,

But there is so much more to know.

I hope we have a million more of our crazy conversations, and I get to see your scary unsmiling face more often (which sometimes breaks into the cutest grin),

And I see you getting excited like a little girl about the things you love,

And I continue to bewilder you with my multi-polarity.

So I dedicate this blog post to you, and I'd like to take this opportunity, to ask you what you know I am going to ask. I think it is a good way to immortalize the Yule Ball kind of a thing we are indulging in. No?

So, Mr. Spanzy, wouldja? :) *batting eyelids* *smiling radiantly*

P.S. Is this ‘irresistible’ enough for you? :P

Rain down, on me.

(Hostel view)

I love this moment for what it is.

I love it that I’m all alone, and I love it that it has been raining since morning.

I love the colourful umbrellas hovering about our campus, which looks green and freshly bathed.

I love the leaping frogs mucking about and I love the puddles of water.

I love the muddy trails of footprints on tiled floors and I love the water droplets trickling down the umbrellas left on the sides to dry.

I love the thick, dense clouds as they float over your head; and I love the fog which makes its way inside my open window.

I love watching football matches in the rain, the thrill of your team winning and the noise of the people cheering.

I love standing against the window and feeling the spray of water against your face, shivering and hugging yourself tight.

I love hooded raincoats and wet feet.

I love hot water baths and steaming cups of coffee amidst the comfortable chatter of friends.

I love friendly grins and nods of acknowledgements.

I love having work to do and I love procrastinating.

I love always having people to chat with, I love walking out of my room and knowing there are hundreds of people I can go and talk to.

I love walking back to the hostel, and running fast because it starts to rain, and then giving up and getting completely drenched.

I love the wet hair and the sneezes that follow.

I love the constant sound of the raindrops.
I love the thoughts that accompany me on nights such as this one.

I love the serenity of this moment.

I love this moment for what it is.

Let go

Days are just passing by. You’ve hardly opened your eyes and it’s time to close them again. I’m thoroughly enjoying the classes and I’m bonding well with my batchmates. Touchwood.  The discussions we have and the documentaries/films that we are shown have deeply moved me. I have felt the change coming within me, frothing and bubbling underneath. I saw a dream which was related to a documentary we saw about the Hindu Muslim Gujarat riots which disturbed me to such an extent that I couldn’t move out of bed for a long time. But it’s good. I want to be disturbed. I want to know what’s happening in the world. I look forward to the next two years' worth of knowledge that is going to be shared with us.

It’s surprising how much you can accomplish on some days, and on other days you hardly move a muscle. And how both of them can be equally fulfilling. There’s always this electricity running around this place, people running around, people with a purpose, participating, competing, all of them striving to achieve the little somethings in their everyday lives. All of them talking, speaking, shouting over the babble, trying to stand out, to find their identities, to get noticed. I think it’s great, and it gives me inspiration. But sometimes, as I’m walking along on the road leading from our classrooms to our hostels, and I look at the green hills on my left and the lush valleys on my right, and the endless cloudy sky above, I feel like slowing down. I feel like receding, like being silent, like not being noticed at all. Like, being invisible.

It is a scary thought sometimes, when you think about where you stand amongst the thousands of students studying in the same college as you, getting the same opportunities as you, doing the same things as you, eating the same food as you. I sometimes panic at the thought of you being a small unit in such a huge college, and your college being a unit in the city, the city being only a part of the world. And then we know how limitless the universe is. It makes you feel how puny and insignificant you really are. You’re just a speck. And what are you doing? Striving, surviving, trying to find happiness in relationships and learning ways to earn enough money to have a family. Sometimes when I think about all this, it seems very absurd and meaningless to me. Then I feel like letting go of everything, and going on a long soul-searching trip. Yeah right.

Anyway, I’ve decided not to think about it much and immerse myself into the innumerable activities here and grow as a person. So that when I pass out of here, I pass out as a better and wiser individual.

I’m sharing a video my friend made here. It sums up our first month at SIMC in the best way possible. Yes, I do feature in it and no, I didn’t know she was recording when I was, ahem, doing the things I’m doing in it.

Here it is: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=W_DJx7hS8qI&feature=youtu.be

Enjoy and cheers :)

We can't return, we can only look behind

I’m so happy today. I’m just so happy. Maybe because Chee shared this article with me and I realized how much it resonated with how I’ve been feeling lately but haven’t been able to put into words. I haven’t even comprehended how much I love the campus and the weather here. I was just existing, floating from hostel to mess and mess to classroom and back to hostel. One month went by in a blur. I still haven’t gotten over the fact that I live on a hill and amidst hills and it’s always breezy and green and rainy.

I’ve been singing ‘The Circle Game’ by Joni Mitchell since evening. Please go and listen to it?

After dinner I spent my time with friends and soaked it in. Took it all in. I want to make the most of my time here. I want to know people. Make friends. Have crazy times. Difficult times. Go out. Travel (especially to Bombay) Write. Laugh. Live. I never realized before today how many possibilities exist now that I’ve moved out of home. I can do anything. Walk wherever I want to, always be surrounded by so many friends, go out and eat with them, take on individual projects with them. Almost anything I want to! I felt so full of life and love today. I felt so alive. And the breeze and the little raindrops added on to the effect. Music was wafting through the air, emanating from different corners of the campus. People were laughing, singing, dancing, bonding. I looked at the campus and at the sky and just felt lucky to be where I am. I love college. Room 221. The trees. The frogs. The constant chatter. The familiar faces. The smiles. The midnight birthday celebrations. The noise in the mess. The cold coffee. Sparks flying in the air. The conversations that flow. The friendships that bloom. Even the bad jokes. And it has all just begun.

I want to be so much more than what I am.